Let’s be real — marriage after kids isn’t all slow dances and sweet nothings. With a 17-year-old navigating teenage life and a 9-year-old still in the cuddly, clingy phase, plus the usual bills and responsibilities, it’s easy to fall into a routine that feels more like roommates than romantic partners. But my husband and I have learned that with a little effort (and a lot of love), the spark doesn’t have to disappear — it just needs a little fuel now and then.
We Prioritize Quality Time — Even If It’s 20 Minutes
We don’t always have time for big dates. But we make time to talk — after the kids are asleep, while folding laundry, or over coffee before the day begins. Just checking in, talking about something other than school fees or groceries, helps us reconnect.
Little Gestures Matter
A sweet text during the day. A favorite snack from the grocery. A back massage after a long day. It’s these little things that remind each other, “I see you.”
We Laugh Together (Even at the Chaos)
Whether it’s our teen’s mood swings or the youngest spilling spaghetti on the couch again, we find humor in our everyday mess. Laughter has kept us sane — and close.
We Give Each Other Space, Too
Sometimes, keeping the spark means letting each other breathe. He has his hobbies, I have mine. Supporting each other’s personal time keeps resentment away and respect strong.
We Still Date — Just Differently
A quiet dinner at home after the kids are in bed. A late-night drive to get fries. Coffee at Starbucks just before the day begins for me and ends for him. It’s not fancy, but it’s “us” time — and it works.
Love after kids looks different — it’s quieter, deeper, more intentional. It’s in the teamwork, the understanding glances, and the choice to keep choosing each other every day. The spark may flicker, but if you keep nurturing it, it never really goes out.
