When November comes, we start cleaning up the candles, buying flowers, and preparing to visit our loved ones at the cemetery. But for many moms like me, Undas is also a time when our children start asking deep, heart-tugging questions — “Nasaan na si Lola?” or “Bakit ‘di na siya bumabalik?”
It’s one of the hardest conversations we’ll ever have as parents. But it’s also one of the most meaningful.
Here’s how I gently talk to my kids about death and heaven — in a way that brings peace, not fear.
1. Speak from Faith and Love
I always start by telling my kids that death isn’t the end — it’s a homecoming. I remind them that our loved ones are in heaven with God, watching over us. This helps them feel that even if we can’t see them, they’re still part of our family.
Sometimes, I show photos of their grandparents and tell stories about them — what they loved to cook, their favorite jokes, their kindness. It turns sadness into remembrance.
2. Use Simple, Honest Words
Avoid phrases that might confuse them like “sleeping forever.” Instead, say something gentle and clear:
“Lola’s body stopped working, but her spirit went to heaven.”
Kids appreciate honesty when it’s spoken with love. And the more calmly we talk about it, the more secure they feel.
3. Let Them Feel Their Feelings
Children process loss differently. Some cry right away, others just ask questions or go quiet. I tell them it’s okay to feel sad, and it’s also okay to smile when we remember happy memories.
During Undas, we light a candle together and say a short prayer. It becomes a comforting family ritual — a way of saying, “We miss you, but we’re grateful for your love.”
4. Remind Them That Heaven Is Home
In our family, we believe heaven is where love never ends. I tell my kids that someday, we’ll all see our loved ones again — but for now, we keep their memory alive in our hearts.
Death doesn’t have to be a scary topic. It can be a lesson in love, gratitude, and faith.
Because when we teach our kids to remember with love instead of fear, we’re not just explaining death — we’re teaching them how to cherish life.
If you’re visiting the cemetery this Undas, bring your little ones along. Let them light a candle, say a prayer, or share their favorite story about the person they miss. It’s a beautiful way to pass on faith and family values — one quiet moment at a time.
